I can tuck mytits in my pants
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
