i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize