I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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