i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
