I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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