I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
