East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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