Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
