Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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