Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
