He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
