Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
