IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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