I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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