she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
