I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
