I met the friendliest cop last night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
