so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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