Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
