It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
