I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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