So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
