also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
