So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
