fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
