From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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