love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
