when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
