saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She bit a glass in half.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
