If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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