She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
