so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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