would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
