i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
