An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
