Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
