Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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