Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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