I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
