This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test