Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3257) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w
  Replies (9) Good night (4479) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11100) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
  Replies (38) Good night (7552) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade. http://tfl.nu/270g
  Replies (20) Good night (1422) Bad night (5397)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14648) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey. http://tfl.nu/dkad
  Replies (38) Good night (3718) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood http://tfl.nu/t6a5
  Replies (13) Good night (968) Bad night (3675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj
  Replies (9) Good night (816) Bad night (2629) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed. http://tfl.nu/rz1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1781) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1809) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs. http://tfl.nu/90kb
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt

Randomize