i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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