But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
