is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.