Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
