Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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