i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
