dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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