Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
