im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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