dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
