Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
