I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
