My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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