If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize