My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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