Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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