YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
