yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
