i'm signing you up for texting rehab
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
