You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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