I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
