help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
