Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
