I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
