My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
