So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
