She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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