The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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