K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it penis luge time yet?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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