I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
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6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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