i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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