You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
