I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
